Thursday, September 17, 2009

Random Thoughts with Abe (9.17.09)

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Thursday, September 3, 2009

Random thoughts with Abe (9.3.09)

I am back with some more random thoughts.

The Obama administration really needs to consult with conservatives to gauge their reaction about their initiatives before rolling them out to the general public. Between the flag @ whitehouse program and asking school children how they can help the president, it seems Obama's 'deciders' don't have a clue about the political landscape in which they roam. Are these people inside the administration that stupid? That myopic? That ignorant to not see what is so plainly obvious? How can they sit there over at the west wing and come up with these idiotic plans and think nobody will make a big fuss about it? We are, after all, dealing with a general public that stews in paranoia. Overreacting to otherwise innocuous programs is a pastime to many people. So, even if these programs are harmless (which I think they are), they are still not wise moves to pursue politically. I really do think the president should seriously consider my suggestion, and hire some conservative types and see what they think of these proposals. Kind of like President Clinton did with Dick Morris. If he can't find anybody willing to take on that role, hire me. I promise you, the rate of back-tracking from ill-advised initiatives will decrease significantly.

The New International Version bible is going through a revision so that it can be gender-neutral. They’re replacing expressions such as “sons of god” with “children of god”. They say they’re doing this so that the bible reflects the changes in “language usage” that has taken place recently. I think that’s great and all, but why stop only at gender? Why not have a major revision and adopt other changes in ‘language usage’? Wouldn’t it be cool if the bible read “and Moses said to his people, brb”? I think they not only should religious texts be revised, they should have different editions, targeting different demographics. Throw in a little comedy and ‘insider’ lingo for the youth, and play it safe for the adults. I think you could see more people fall back into religion if they did this. Hmm…. Maybe I should offer up my consulting services to churches. I’ll give a 10% discount on my fee, as long as you pass along the savings to Jesus, provided that money goes through me first (I’ll expedite the transfer process).

I never thought I’d agree with Audrey O'Day (random singer/reality TV hack), but she is right about one thing. Evil people are generally smart. Recently on Hannity's TV show, Audrey O'Day said that 'evil' dictators like Adolf Hitler and - to a much lesser extent - Fidel Castro were "brilliant men". Umm... okay? Where's the controversy? How could anyone deny this fact? Adolf Hitler was practically a genius. He and his minions were one pesky Island (the brits) and one ill-advised attack on Russia away from conquering Europe. A stupid person would never be in such a position. Now, does genius and brilliant equate to good? No, and I think that's the problem people like Hannity's sheep have with these statements. They, in their childish wisdom, conflate intelligence with good. Intelligence has very little to do with morality. What smart people do with their intelligence dictates which side of good/evil they fall under. A good smart person becomes a doctor or teacher. An evil smart person becomes a dictator or banker. Their morality doesn't negate their brilliance.

The "sending the wrong message" doctrine is, ironically, sending the wrong message. The social conservatives need to sit down and think through their stance on sex education. What is more important: kids having unprotected sex and the consequences that come from that (kids born out of wedlock, abortion, STD's)? OR curbing those trends by allowing sex education in the classroom and in effect condoning kids having sex? Because, trust me, in either scenario, kids will be having sex. Pretending it's not happening and promoting "purity rings" will not and has not solved the problem. So, at some point, social conservatives will have to give up the delusional notion that abstinence-only is a realistic goal and combat the issue head-on by teaching these horny rug rats a thing or two.

Having said that, the Duggard family -- who are having a 19th child in a few months -- is sending the wrong message. We already have a crapload of kids in this country, so do we really need to cheer on a family that is trying to single-handedly fill a 53-man NFL roster? Why not instead promote adoptions? Like an "infant recycling" initiative, with tax cuts and everything. Or you could hold baby-drafts, where people can scout and select babies based on whatever traits they deem desirable. Shit, you could even spring up a couple of match-making websites such as babymatch.com or infantharmony.com. Any of these ideas are preferable to the ‘crank out as many kids as your lord will allow for’ theory. Oh, and one last thing. We seem to be ok promoting "buy american" initiatives with the auto industry. Why not hold the same views with adoptions?

And lastly, the Atlanta mayoral race is getting pretty 'racy'. For the first time in over 35 years, the city of Atlanta could elect its first white mayor. And that thought doesn't sit very well with some in the black community (read: irony). Currently, there are three viable candidates for the upcoming election on November 3rd, and two of them are black. The lone white candidate, Councilwoman Mary Norwood, has a decent chance of winning. The primary reason for that - according to the Black Leadership Forum - is the belief that the black vote will be split between the two black candidates, resulting in no one receiving a majority of the votes and forcing a runoff. That scenario, again according to the Black Leadership Forum, would be disastrous for the black candidates. As a political science professor put it, "blacks do not return to the polls in a runoff, historically". In other words, a runoff will result in a Mary Norwood victory. So to prevent this from happening, the Black Leadership Forum sent out an email urging black voters to only back one of the two black candidates, and their preference is with City Council President Lisa Borders (her grandfather is of significance in the civil rights movement). This solution would likely avoid having to hold a runoff. The reason I bring this up is to illustrate one of the main gripes I have with 'minority groups'. They never seem to realize the absurdity and hypocrisy of their positions and beliefs. And this is not limited to black people. Women do the same thing (by the way, when did women become a protected minority?). Foreigners do the same. And oddly enough, white males do the same. You no longer even have to be technically a minority anymore. It's a mindset. Those that feel they are disenfranchised, past or present, hold firm to the belief that it's not wrong when they do it. It's a pretty interesting phenomenon.

And that my friends, is all.

Later

-Abe


change you can believe in.

The Bob and Abe Show is transitioning to a two shows per week format! Starting with next week's episodes, you'll get that which you crave twice as often, and with roughly 3.5 times more enthusiasm, and 1.7 times the incisiveness. Sadly, we've had to sacrifice the humor, of which you will be getting only 70% of previous levels, which is still pretty damn funny.

Don't worry, you won't be expected to listen to three hours of Bob and Abe every week. We're going to be producing two 40-minute (or so) podcasts every week to ease consumption, digestion, and, um, processing. Hopefully now you'll be less reticent to tell all your friends about us, given the new less bulky packaging we come in.

Keep the feedback coming! This may not be a democracy, but we are weak-willed when we hear the pleas of our mouth-breathing serfdom.

Also, this here is getting a little ridiculous, no? I mean, come on, we're biting now?